I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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