I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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