just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
