I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
