fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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