i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
