My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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