Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
