You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
