idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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