Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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