i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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