I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
