Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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