You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
