I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
