I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
