she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
