..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
