I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
