Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
