OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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