So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
