I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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