they need to just BURY HIM!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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