Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
