quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
