dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
