And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
