she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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