dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
