Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
