You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Randomize
