They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
