the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
