I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
