Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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