hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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