Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
