2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
