walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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