Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
