I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
