Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
