I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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