i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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