She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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