My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
