how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
