she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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